Back to School: FM Complaints

They're ba-aack! A new school year has begun and brings with it fresh hair cuts and new backpacks, a renewed sense of purpose, and hopeful to-do lists. And I'm sure seconds after the first bell, this year's new crop of occupant complaints started landing in FM inboxes. I hope they don't go too crazy on you this year, everyone. And if they do, read the stories below and know you're not alone. Enjoy!

Quacks Like a Duck

"We received this complaint a few days ago: 'Yesterday and today I've heard a strange, faint drumming sound while in my office.  It sounds sort of like a metal drum being struck lightly with a soft mallet.  It sounds like it's coming from outside my window or down on the second floor.' I guess this occupant thought that some portion of the mechanical equipment was malfunctioning? But if it sounds like a duck, then it’s probably a duck. The reality is that we are a large campus-based state university. The marching band had just started practicing across a field from the building to get ready for the upcoming school year. It was ... their drums."

Cutest Infestation Ever

"Many years ago, I managed a large school building.  Over the winter break, we normally reduced the temperature in the building to conserve energy.  Trying to be proactive and protect classroom pets, I sent a note out to all of the teachers recommending that, if they had fish or other animals in their classroom, they should make arrangements to take them home during the break.  I later encountered a very concerned teacher who asked with wide eyes, 'Do people really find animals and fish in their classroom?'" 


"Complaint:  'I am trying to teach my class and the noises coming from the ceiling vent sound as if the entire class is located in a bathroom stall.  The noises coming from the vent are so loud and disgusting that the entire class often times breaks out into laughter.  Someone using the restroom adjacent to my class has an extreme case of flatulence.'   Tech comments:  'The exhaust and return duct were contacted allowing noise to travel into the class room.  The duct work has been isolated.  The person with “flatulence” should consult a physician and or purchase some Beano.'”

What are your occupants up to these days? Feel free to post your own story in this forum or send me an email at


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