Into the Wild: FM Complaints

Just when you think facility occupants under appreciate you, here are a few stories that seem to indicate facility managers must have super powers. At the very least, the power to control nature. Here are some funny occupant complaints about nature being...naturey. Enjoy!
Tree Hugger
"Can we cut some trees down? The acorns get all over the side walk and are hard to walk around them."

Noise Ordinance

"We had a local complain about our manufacturing plant's noise level. We told her we believed she was hearing cicadas. She insisted saying the noise was worse during shift change. Not sure about that, but we think it is cicadas. She threatened to call the local police saying she had lived at her location for twelve years without this noise level. I referred her to the agricultural extension agent. There is a 13-year cicada that bred in 2013. Facility Managers need training in all the sciences!"
Lord of the Flies
"Funniest work order request. I manage a public school district in Massachusetts. Last May we had a complaint of excessive flies by our PE teacher that needed immediate action. Figuring someone had left a full barrel or something similar to create a fly issue, I sent my head custodian down to take care of the issue. When I received the call from my custodian that the teacher was complaining about the flies outside I almost fell out of my chair.  It's May in New England. We have Mayflies. Would you like me to drop a giant bomb of pesticides on the Northeast to solve your concern?  Love it."

These are kind of cute, actually, in their wide-eyed belief that anything can be controlled, don't you think? It makes me wonder what else these occupants think is possible.

Do you have any funny, strange, or otherwise memorable occupant complaints you'd like to share? Post your own thread in this forum or send me an email at

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